William...
Would your
mother be proud?

Boy caught
being
naughty boy.
Boy court
smoking.

-.-. .- -. -. --- - --. . - - --- -- .- -.-. .... .. -. . .-.-.- . .- .-. - .... --.- ..- .- -.- . - --- --- ... - .-. --- -. --. .-.-.- -. --- .-- .- - . .-. .-.-.- ..-. .. .-. . ... - .... . -.-- -... ..- .-. -. .-.-.- ... . -. -.. .... . .-.. .--. .-.-.-

Brown in town.
Love to make
Maida move.
Beat the bounce
in Citypink.
The professional
approach to mingling
with lesbians.

Some crazy bitch
is putting tortoises
in the fridge.

Gascoigne Diaries:

June 1996-

Involved in
alcohol-related
'dentist-chair'
incident.

Okay, right...
Ahm, It's 'Official'
we are a nation
of drunks.
London has
the fattest kids.
A knifed boy
was an orphan.
And, Maddie sighting
was actually a different
blonde haired little
girl. Whoda thunk?

Someone
told me
nothing
happened
today.

This charming man...
A Dracula family
whose last name
is Frankenstein.
A crocodile wife
a murderous life.
Reward for your
10 million pound scam?.
At least you're going down
with Fulham.

Obesity is like...
global warming.
Okay, I'll bite.
Fish are like...
carrot batons.
And birth is like...
a point head stick.

Lady Madonna,
When will you learn?
It's not the cocks
you've sucked
or the gallons of sperm.
It's talent you lack.
It matters not
how many a penis
you have blown.
It's talent you lack
you sad old hack.

EDITORIAL

Sooner or later, life will catch up with you. Someone you love or depend upon will leave you or they will die. So, if you have your health and a few coins in your pocket why not do something you enjoy tonight? If you are lucky enough to be in love spoil the one you love. If your not chat someone up on the bus, tube or train. Ask them out for a dinner or a drink. The worst they can say is “no” and you have only your self dignity to lose…and that’s not a lot. Forget about the commercialism of St. Valentines’ Day and have a good time. Shag something. Eat lovely food and drink expensive Champagne. Be in the moment. Moments are, after all, finite. Your moments and your chances will, one day, run out. Then what? Who knows? But that’s when…when life will have caught up with you. So, while you're able…run from the consequences. Flee. Leg it while you still can.

If all else fails and you still find yourself alone do something that will make you happy. If that means taking a handful of barbiturates and rolling into a ball in front of the television…go for it. If you want to go for a long run along the river…do that. Just remember that the clock is also running. And it’s not running in your favour.

On the 452
this morning:
Death boards
at Queenstown
Road. The elderly
scream and
punch windows,
a bid for escape.
Children on
school runs
just laugh
in uniforms
funnel shaped.
Death doesn't make
a fuss. He takes
his seat just like
the rest of us.

Camden Market’s
burning down,
burning down,
burning down.
Fire, will you
take the scumbags
take the scumbags
with you?

Camden Market’s
burning down,
burning down,
burning down.
Fire, will you
take the death flags
take the death flags
with you?

Corpse sands
head found
behind boutique.
Leg set
and torso
oh, tre chic.

Using a mobile phone
does not increase the risk
of AHH shit developing brain
cancer. Ahh. Catn see straight.
Studee found regular use
of DDAAAHHRR devices
did not significantly affect
the human gynone, fucking
sheep everywhere developing
glioma, meningioma and pituitary
adenoma. Ah, hursts to think. Ah,
hurts to think so much all the time.

Chemically treated body parts
on sale to the public:
but, they'll cost an arm and a leg.
16 transparent horizontal slices
of a human (head, neck, torso, extremities).
Standard quality (fragile): €1,400, [£1050]”
says the price list. “Robust quality
(unbreakable): €2,800. [£2100]”
Pet owners are a particularly promising market.
“The little dog can then hang as a transparent slice
on the wall and look at his master for all eternity.”
Cost of a sliced lapdog: €460. A millimetre-thin slice
of a horse's head will be offered for €900-€1,800.

S&M flat.
Hang the
ex-DJ.
Dungeon
full of...
meat hooks.
Found
upside

D o w n

in studded
harness.
Class A
drugs
not B or C
S&M flat
in Battersea.

Shell Oil.
Billions of
pounds
in profit.
But scandal
does embroil.